Game: Temporal Orientation
Holben exhibits once again a profound mastery of acting as the GM and Ping acts as the medieval-knight-turned-time-agent Sir Peter. Hijinks ensue GAME 1 "So, Peter, first we're going to test your vortex manipulator. I've linked mine to yours so we'll go to the same place. Just operate it as we showed you." 2 I operate it as they've shown me (should I roll a die? If so, I roll a 6) 3 There is a roar and woosh of time as you are picked up and thrown into another time period. 6 is a perfect roll- you emerge nonchalantly in the Ice Age. "Very good. Just have to stay here for a short while as it recharges- keep asking questions." 4 "Methinks this place is hellishly cold. What people livest here?" 5 "Primitive people. Fire, axes and spears are all they have." Your guide sighs and looks around. "We're being watched." 6 "Tis true. Let us retire to a defensible position." What is the area? 7 You stand on a low, snow-covered hill. It is surrounded by forest. Shapes move in the trees. 8 A hill is defensible. I stay put, and call out "Friends! We hath ventured here from the distant future! Dost thou need assistance?" (By the way, what are my weapons stats?) 9 (Compact Laser Deluxe stats are on the 51st Century page: L, 50 (h) damage, 2 shots/turn, accuracy 1 in 2, range 40m. Long sword is M, Base+25 (sla).) "Your vortex manipulator incorporates a universal translator, so they should understand you. But they probably will think you mad." 10 "Even so, twould be prudent to communicate. If they be humans, which I am not sure of. Shall we explore the terrain?" 11 Your vortex manipulator beeps to tell you that it has recharged. "If you like." A Woolly Rhino walks into the clearing. 12 "My God, tis an ugly unicorn!" I walk into the forest, keeping a wary eye on the unicorn. Wooly Rhino, I mean. 13 The Woolly Rhino snorts at you and paws the ground with its front hooves. 14 "Twould be prudent to take our leave, methinks." I attemp to use the vortex manipulator, aiming for the Middle Ages and rolling a 4. 15 You have missed by one, arriving in the Renaissance. You stand at the centre of a bustling Italian marketplace. 16 "Tis vaguely familiar. Italy, methinks." I walk to the first somewhat well-dressed individual I can find and ask if anything "queer" has happened recently. 17 "Have you not heard? The Milanese are sending an army to attack us! And they bring with them indestructible soldiers!" The noble stares at you from his sedan chair. "Say... you're not from around here, are you?" 18 "Nay, I come forth from a far place. England, if thou must know. Pray tell me of these indestructible soldiers." 19 "Some say they come from the stars. Others say they have clambered up from hell. They wear armour too tough for any Earthly weapon to pierce, and their weaponry can kill five men with one flash." 20 "Couldst thou describe them for us? What do they call themselves?" 21 "No florentine has seen them speak. They stand like men, but men of steel." 22 we would be honored to help thee, sire. Give us a troop of thy finest men and we shalt destroy these abombinations." 23 "Well... he scratches his head angrily. "Very well. I shall send my Swiss guards to accompany you. Your friend there is acting oddly." Your guide is playing around with a plasma cannon, which he promptly hides. "Don't worry about me." 24 "Tis not wise to play with such weapons. I once smote myself with such a thing." I turn to the noble. "Where be our enemies? We shall set off at once." 25 "You will be able to see the fires of their camp but a dozen leagues from the edge of our city." 26 Are the Swiss Guards with me yet? If so, I set out for the edge of Florence. 27 They are indeed. You see the Milanese campfires on the horizon. 28 Don't suppose I could go back 100 years, plant a bomb in that exact spot, and put a 100 year timer on it? :P How many Swiss Guards do I have with me? I sneak cautiously towards the encampment. 29 :P 20 Guards. Your sneaking goes unnoticed. 30 "Stay behind. If I give thee a signal, come down and aide me. I sneak into the encampment, and peak into a tent. 31 Inside the tent are three crossbowmen, arguing loudly. Their weapons lie by the entrance. 32 I listen to their argument. 33 "We can't trust them! Giovanni went into their tent yesterday. He never came back." "He deserved whatever he got. No, they're our best chance of gaining dominion over Italy. And even if they did rise up, we know exactly how to stop them." "And if that fails?" "It can't fail." "I still think that they're..." 34 I burst into the tent. Dual-wielding... I stab one in the chest with my Long Sword, rolling a 2, and I fire at another one, rolling a 5 and a 4. I place my sword tip on the survivors throat (he's the one who didn't trust them.) "If thou seeketh life, thou wilt tell me all thou knowest about thy newfound allies." 35 His eyes grow extremely wide and he falls back onto the floor. "Don't kill me! I'll tell you everything I know! They are like men, but made from steel, and they can kill you with a touch or by using strange fire from their wrists!" 36 I smile as menacingly as I can manage. "Pray take me to their tent." 37 Terrified, he leads you to the massive central tent. On entering, you see six large metal pods, evidently designed for humans to enter. A cyberman turns to you. 38 "Stand thee back, tin man. I am Sir Peter of the Time Agency. Explain thy purpose for being in this time, lest I bring the full wrath of eternity upon thee." Behind my back I prepare my Vortex Manipulator, just in case. 39 "You have designated yourself "Time Agent". You will be upgraded and your technology shall be used to assist in the upgrading of the universe." It reaches out to grab you, but then it is blown to small pieces by a plasma cannon. Two more cybermen march in. 40 I kick one into the other and start running away in a zig-zag motion. I yell for my allies. 41 The Swiss guards mob them, pushing the Cybermen to the ground and jabbing them enough with their halberds to kill them. Meanwhile, a plasma cannon is fired repeatedly until to upgrading chamber is left standing. "Good work." The guide smiles. "Now just for..." Your void manipulator, and then his begins to glow gold. "Oh. Crap." 42 "Wilt thou tell me what it is doing, or shalt thou simply stand there repeating vulgar words as a peasant?" 43 "That wasn't even a word in the middle ages." He scowls. "Something extremely bad has just happened and time is rushing around crazily. Vortex manipulators won't work until it's calmed down... and by then, the vortex will probably be full of Daleks." 44 "Daleks... a man called the Doctor mentioned them once, methinks. What are they? Allies, mayhaps?" 45 The Guide actually looks frightened. "Nothing could be further from the truth." He locks and loads the plasma cannon. "Hopefully the Agency will send a ship to pick us up. Otherwise, I can't imagine us getting out of here alive." The alarm is shouted outside, and you hear soldiers running towards where you are. 46 I prepare my weapons. "We shalt battle our way into the surrounding countryside, and then disguise ourselves as hermits until the Vortex becomes safe again." 47 "If it ever d..." His vortex manipulator blinks. "A message." He plays it. "This is the Time Agency High Command. Code blood red. I repeat; code blood red. All agents disband. Draw no attention to yourself. Do not attempt to time travel. Await further instructions." "Blood red. The Agency believes that it is going to be destroyed in the next few minutes." The Guide sighs, and then presses a different button. There is a blue flash as you reappear just outside the camp. "Teleporting is probably attention-attracting, but who cares." 48 Sir Peter utters a few period-specific swear words. "What do we do now? Shalt we employ my brilliant hermit plan...?" 49 "Alright. It might kill some time. No pun intended." 50 I spend two years as a hermit...? 51 Barely an hour into the hermitry, a new message is received. "Attention all Time Agents. HQ has been destroyed. High Command has been destroyed. Emergency protocol 417 carried out successfully- new high command established. Please convene at unintelligible in three meta-minutes." "That's our ticket out of here." 52 Aww... I was looking forward to eating locusts and wild honey. :P "Twould indeed- if we could understand where to convene." 53 "That was deliberate- we all know exactly where to convene. We're going to go and beg the Time Lords for assistance." 54 I sigh. "I hate begging. Let us be off." 55 There is a flash, and you are all on board the Time Agency's new HQ- a Timecraft Carrier located somewhere between the vortex and space. It edges slowly towards Gallifrey. "Guide! Take the novice to the lower decks." "He should be fine." "...alright. But don't let him say anything." 56 I start to protest, but then I wise up and try to avoid too much notice. 57 The screen flips into existence and a stern face appears. The owner of the face is wearing a crimson robe, and bears a strange gauntlet on one hand. "Have you come to beg, little humans?" He spits. "We humbly ask that you provide sanctuary for us until the vortex becomes traversable once more..." "And why should I do that?" "We can... we can help you." "Not how you believe you can. But I may have a task for you." "...anything." "Go out and find the warrior known as the Doctor. He is needed. Then, I may listen to your pleading." 58 Category:Games